


tape and glue

by Mars_and_Moon



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Mentions of Death, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Relationship, i'm salty and because of that you get angst, kind of character study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-11 14:05:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17448389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mars_and_Moon/pseuds/Mars_and_Moon
Summary: Nico didn’t think that Will was a perfect example of doing okay, but he seemed to being doing better than most others would, considering the hand the Fates had dealt him these past few years.





	tape and glue

**Author's Note:**

> i'm still salty that the fact that probably every single character in this series probably has some form of mental illness and it's almost never talked about canonically
> 
> (as usual) edited by @writing_way_too_much

Early on during the mess that was his life, Nico learned that the absolute best way to not being torn about by guilt, sadness, or other bad emotions was to block himself off from most of the world. 

A certain annoying blond medic made this more complicated, due to his smile that made Nico want to not block him off. 

Nico would be lying if he said he didn't think that there wasn't something off was about Will Solace that he had yet been able to quite put his finger on in the time they had been talking. 

_ (Will called them friends, but Nico was still working on accepting the fact that not everybody hated him.) _

But Nico really was not exactly one to judge about not discussing feelings; that would be simply hypocritical, seeing as he rarely talks about everything. Even in the kind-of-support-group he, Percy, and Annabeth had almost weekly, he mostly just sat silently listening to the two bicker lovingly, and ask him if he was okay. 

_ (He wasn’t, none of them truly were.) _

Nico didn’t think that Will was a perfect example of doing okay, but he seemed to being doing better than most others would, considering the hand the Fates had dealt him these past few years. Yet, when Nico said as much to him, Will had grown strangely quiet, muttering out some half-assed explanation that he needed more gauze before swiftly walking away from the conversation. 

_ (Will had most definitely not needed gauze, just to the left of where the two of them had been sitting was a pile of the stuff.) _

That kind of behavior was odd, but Nico allowed himself to brush it off. Once Will had returned, he had carried on like nothing had happened.

Still, as Nico walked towards his cabin, completely ready to turn in and sleep like the dead for then next limited amount of time he could before the nightmares kicked in, he was stopped outside his door by a very tired looking Will Solace. Nico couldn’t help but notice the redness of his eyes, and the way his hands shook slightly as he ran them through his hair. 

_ (Nico learned early on that it was a nervous habit, along with pulling at his finger.) _

“You’re not the only one that’s barely holding it together,” Will rushed out quickly. “I went through two wars, same as you. I watch my siblings die and helped bring the bodies of my friends back to camp.” He choked out the last bit, and started pulling on his fingers.

“I am held together by tape and glue at this point. I’m not perfect. I’m not whole and healed. I’m barely together, but I put a smile on my face. And I’m not saying that what you went through wasn’t terrible, because good gods it was, I’m just saying that I am not the picture perfect example of healed and I need someone I can talk to about that, and I would like it to be you, because you understand guilt, and you understand loss.”

Nico was rendered speechless. He hadn't expected Will to go off like that. And Will was staring at him looking like he was on the verge of a breakdown, pleading silently with his eyes for Nico to say something. Nico took a breath and nudged the door to his cabin open. 

Nico took another breath and wondered how people did things like this, how people knew how comforting another person worked. It was certainly foreign to him. “Why don’t you come sit with me for a bit?” 

Will visibly relaxed. He was still pulling at his fingers and his eyes were still red, but he nodded slightly and gave a genuine smile. “I’d like that.”

_ (Nico elected to ignore the way his stomach twisted when he thought about the fact that it would only be the two of them in the cabin, things like that could wait until after.) _

The two of them walked into the cabin together, ignoring the fact that Will technically shouldn’t be there, that he should be in the infirmity, or his own cabin. Nico figured that nobody would say anything about it if they saw the two.

“It’s very--” Will struggled for a moment, looking for a word before settling. “--dark.” 

“Younger me wasn’t the greatest designer in the world,” Nico shot back, letting amusement fill his voice. He didn’t really mind what people said about his cabin, and he had heard worse ways of describing it.

“It’s kind of nice, actually, it gives a nice break from all of the mess that is my cabin.” 

“Is it that bad?”

Will shook his head, but he had a fond smile on his face. “No, it’s just a lot sometimes. A lot of noise, a lot of reminders of everything that went down.” 

Nico couldn’t think of a proper response for that, he nodded and muttered out some kind of vague agreement.

They fell into a silence that wasn’t necessarily awkward but not overly pleasant. Both were still standing, having never sat down. Nico gently rocked back and forth on his feet, the repetitive movement offering a small comfort. 

“I’m sorry for all of the, whatever that was outside,” Will tumbled out suddenly. “I just-- everyone acts like I’m perfectly okay all the time, and you never really have, but then you made that stupid comment--which I know was a joke and I’m not blaming you--and I just lost it a little?” 

Yet again, Nico wasn’t sure how to respond. He wasn’t a naturally comforting person. He dug around his mind to see if he could remember anything that would be of use. 

“It wasn’t your fault,” Nico said carefully. He could slowly feel the panic sneak up on him, grabbing ahold of his neck, almost suffocating him. He really did not want to mess this up because Will was one of his only friends, and though he most certainly did not know how to comfort someone, Nico could guess that having a panic attack was not helpful. 

He felt himself suddenly being squeezed and his mind quickly snapped back to the present. Will had grabbed ahold of him and was rubbing his hand up and down on his back. 

_ (This happened before, not that either of them ever talked about it after it was over.) _

Will was whispering softly things that sounded like reminders. Reminders that he was in camp, that nothing bad was happening, that everything was okay. 

“Turn of events,” Nico whispered, his throat felt dry. 

Will’s muttering stopped immediately. “Pardon?”

“Well, here I am attempting to comfort you, and you end up comforting me.” 

Will let out a laugh that sounded forced, and Nico did the same. The laughter trailed off and the cabin was left in silence. 

“We can be messes together,” Will said. He still had his arms around Nico, and he didn’t seem to be planning to let go anytime soon. Nico felt himself nod along to the other boys words. 

“Together,” Nico repeated. He could live with that.

**Author's Note:**

> whoop whoop hoped you liked my spite fulled fic
> 
> comments & kudos give me joy


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